Computer Viruses
by katiesparks
Summary: Nasty little things, the lot of them. DireSphinx-chan, s2lou-chan, it's finally my turn to blame you two for something!


**She mentioned my name to them, you know they'd come after me after such an obvious invatation.**

She knew today was going to suck; she knew it all the way down to her toes. So, if she already knew this, did she actually click the email from s2lou-chan reading **"Your turn!"**?

She didn't have an answer to this, but she was wishing she had thought ahead as Kaitou Kid and Aoko calmly strolled across her screen, the former looking quite smug and the later looking decidedly pissed.

"Um, hello?" she said and Kaito grinned.

"Hello." He said and looked sideways at Aoko, who was staring at the background on her computer (which was currently a picture of Shinichi and Ran looking lustily at each other in a library.)

Aoko looked up. "Oh, hello. We need to have a _talk._"

Aoko took a step forward but Kaito held out an arm to stop her. "Not yet, we're missing someone."

"Missing someone?" the young author asked and Kaito nodded.

"Looking back, we've noticed a trend. Every time something unfortunate happens to us, you tend to blame a certain "Kirby-chan". We need to have a little chat with the both of you then." Kaito said and Aoko nodded along with him.

"Well, you see, Kirby's not exactly able to come out and talk, she's, um, _busy _ and-"

"Katie-chan! Who are you talking to? I told you, telling the people on the TV not to go into the room doesn't work. They can't hear you. Katie-chan?" Kirby opened the door to her room and the younger girl valiantly tried to move in front of the screen.

"Run, Kirby-chin!" she said, but that only made the other girl more curious.

"Stop that. What's this? Did some fangirl invent a Kaitou Kid and Aoko program? What does it do? Can you make them do something smexy?" Kirby asked, pushing the authoress out of the way and looking curiously at the small figures on the screen.

Aoko began to sputter indignantly.

"Well, if you insist..." Kaito started only to be hit in the head with a mop.

"Wow, these are really lifelike! Who made them, Katie?" Kirby said and Katie whimpered.

"They, um, they're not programs....."

"Then what are they?"

Katie looked at the other girl helplessly. "I....don't know? Dire-chan caught them first and they just keep _spreading_."

"So you're telling me I just said that in front of the _real_ Aoko?" Kirby said, her face a deadpan. Katie nodded. "Oh shit."

"That's right, we have some things to say to you two." Kaito said and Aoko stepped up from beside him, brandishing what looked suspiciously like a list.

Simutaneously, Kirby and Katie thought. _Shit, what have we done to them lately? Nothing too bad, except....._

"First, thing we need to talk about, your AUs." Aoko said and Katie and Kirby exchanged glances.

"We haven't wrote aout you guys in any Aus, we've been torturing Heiji and Kazuha lately." Kirby said and Kaito took the paper from his companion's hands.

"Yes, that's true, and, while we don't mind you two messing with them, you have a bad tendency to drag _us_ into things. Do the words 'miscarriage' and 'assassin' mean anything to you?" Kaito said with a card shark's smile.

"Your fault, you fault!" Katie said, pushing Kirby forward and she coughed and smiled shakily.

"Everyone needs a good back story?" she offered uneasily.

"So you have me give birth to multiple dead babies and make Kaito go around _killing_ people? How is that _good?_" Aoko demanded, getting closer to the screen, mop in hand and Kirby and Katie both backed up, not wanting an experience like s2lou-chan had faced.

"People respond well to trauma?" Kirby finished weakly and Aoko growled but did not turn her weapon into a projectile just yet.

"Next thing was your doing, I believe, Katie-san." Kaito said and handed Aoko the list.

"Yes, the gangster-thief thing. That was you, wasn't it?" Aoko said.

"Well, I wrote it, but it was her fault! She just wouldn't stop with the "Kaito needs a gang too" thing and we needed to write s2lou-chan a birthday present." Katie said quickly, hiding behind her faithful muse (who was currently thinking of ways to ditch her friend and get the Hell out of Dodge).

"Either way, _why_ was it imperative to have me end up on the streets? And why do you have me acting like I was high the whole time? Well? And I wouldn't just except those lies like that, he was a thief and I _knew _it! You don't honestly think that I would sleep with someone just like that, do you?" Aoko raged.

"T-to be fair, that really wasn't you, she was AU...." Katie said warily.

"_I don't care!"_ Aoko screamed. "She had my name! And what about that other story? Do you think I'd let Kaito go just like that if he all but told me he was Kaitou Kid?"

"But isn't he dressed as Kaitou Kid right behind you?" Kirby said and Aoko blinked, looking behind her at Kaito, who waved with one white gloved hand.

"You'd do better not to argue with her!" Kaito called and Katie nodded, accepting the advice. He would know, after all.

"Argh!" Aoko sputtered before grabbing the 'Pictures' folder of the computer's hard drive. "Well, what about this?" she said, pulling out a picture of Kaito and Aoko making out rather heatedly. And Aoko was only wearing a towel....

"To be fair, I have much worse pictures of Heiji and Kazuha." Katie said and Aoko blushed, obviously wondering about said images.

"Ne, Aoko, can I see that real quick?" Kaito asked and she handed it over. He tapped it with his index finger and a white drop down menu appeared. Humming to himself, he clicked 'Copy' and folded the newly generated picture before sticking it in his pocket. "Okay, you can have it back now."

Aoko turned even redder and began to chase the magician with her mop (she also destroyed a couple of icons along the way.) Meanwhile, Katie and Kirby were thinking different things about what Kaito had just done.

"If he can do that...." Katie started.

"...then what can _we _do?" Kirby finished and they grinned evilly together.

Katie moved her cursor on top of Aoko's mop and pressed 'Delete'. The mop disappeared and Aoko tripped, her momentum thrown off.

"Pick Kaito up!" Kirby demanded and Katie grabbed him with the cursor.

"Hey! Stop that!" Kaito said, kicking his legs as he tried to break free.

"What happens if you right click on him?" Kirby asked and Katie shrugged before performing the indicated operation. A drop down menu appeared.

"Fast forward; Freeze; Position; Change Clothing,; Change Language; Add Character; Mutate.....Freeze him, Katie, I've got an idea!" Kirby read off.

"This isn't how this was supposed to go!" Kaito exclaimed before he suddenly found himself unable to move, though the freeze didn't seem to affect his ability to speak. Katie froze Aoko as well before turning to the muse standing behind her.

"Okay, click 'Change Clothes'. Yes! Okay, click on 'Underwear'. Do Aoko too!"

"Wait, can't we work something out?" Kaito asked as he felt his clothes disappear. Judging from the squawk he heard from Aoko's direction, she'd probably just lost her garments as well.

"Nope. Let me do it, Katie-chan." Kirby said and Katie slid out of the seat. Kirby dragged Kaito to the bottom of the screen before dropping Aoko on top of him.

"Kaito, if you don't move you hand-!" Aoko warned.

"I can't, baka!" he shot back.

"Take a screen shot!" Katie said, bouncing in place and the muse did as told.

"What else? Wasn't there an 'Add Character' option on there?" Kirby said before finding the appropriate item. "Yes, who should we add?"

"Not Heiji or Kazuha, they'd be even madder than them." Katie said, shuddering at the thought.

"And after what happened in Arachne, we should keep Shinichi and Ran out of it too. Not to mention what we have planed for them, but no one knows about that, right?" Kirby said.

"Well, Kirby-_san _knows about it. But she's wouldn't be able to tell anyone. Who haven't we pissed off?" Katie said and scratched her head.

Kirby's face lit up in a smile. "Hakuba." She said and clicked on his name. He dropped on to the screen.

"Gordon Bennett! Kuroba, what did you do?!" Hakuba exclaimed as he landed on the ground. Then he noticed Kaito and Aoko's relative positions to each and did a double take. "Bloody hell?!"

"Hakuba, run!" Kaito exclaimed.

"Too late!" Kirby said, freezing the British detective and striping him to his underwear as well.

"What in Queen Elizabeth's name is going on here?" Hakuba exclaimed.

"We pissed off some fangirls." Kaito said.

"Add him to the pile!" Katie said and Kirby picked the other two up and dropped them on the blond, deciding he'd be better on bottom.

"Take pictures, take pictures!" Katie said.

Kirby snapped several pictures. "So, what now?"

"Mutate, maybe? I've always wanted to see Kaito as a mermaid...." Katie said.

"Wait, _wait!_" Kaito exclaimed. "Just let us go and we'll leave, all charges dropped! Deal?"

"Do you promise?" Katie said, scooting Kirby out of her seat. The other girl grumbled, but didn't complain too much.

"Yeah, we promise!" Aoko said.

"I don't even know what's happening!" Hakuba said from him position at the bottom.

"Well, Okay then." Katie highlighted them and put their clothes back on before unfreezing them. "Now, leave."

Kaito and Aoko trudged off screen (the later had Hakuba by the wrist and was guiding him away.)

"That was strange." Kirby said after they'd left.

"Yeah, but at least now we know what to do if any _other _characters drop by for a visit." Katie said positively.

"True."

**This is entirely the fault of s2lou-chan and DireSphinx-chan. So, I blame them!**


End file.
